Time for mom

How do you take advice? A practical guide in 5 steps


When a woman becomes a mother, she enters a completely new role. She is lost, sometimes overwhelmed with new responsibilities and a sense of responsibility. Someone who would wisely and tactfully advise then would be at a premium. Unfortunately, salomonic advisers as for medicine, with sufficient informative wisdom. A young mother who has been subjected to "golden councils" for long enough is quickly discouraged from this form of "help". Soon, she refuses to let anyone in, and her child parades proudly in a T-shirt saying "my mother doesn't need your advice!" Is it really Before we dive into the experience of other mothers, it is worth considering whether we are actually so self-sufficient.

1. Separate the grain from the chaff

Not every advice is an instruction. The instruction raises our opposition, it's natural. He questions our skills and competences, blames our behavior. Nobody likes to be instructed. No wonder that when a young mother hears once again what she is doing wrong, she begins to roll her eyes. The problem is that sometimes he knocks them over when he hears honest, wise and meaningful advice. Yes, there comes a moment when we treat everything we hear as attack and criticism. This is very bad. So before you reject the advice that someone has kindly and tactfully served you, think about whether it is worth using it.

2. Remember that hearing is not acceptance

Just because you listen to anyone's advice doesn't mean you have to follow it. Instead of interrupting, making faces like: what don't you say ?, presenting the world with bloated lips and a bored face, you can listen with kind interest and ... ignore. Of course, this only applies to the part of the population whose advice (even the most dumb) flows from the heart and does not start with: my Krysia never behaves like your Krzysiek ...

3. Not everything is worth listening to

Don't let yourself be offended. Sometimes "advice" takes a nasty form. Comparing children (to your detriment, of course), undermining your love and concern for the good of the baby are just some of the impertinences that young mothers complain about. You don't have to listen to anything that offends you and your child. Striving for cultural behavior towards someone who does not have a penny of culture does not make much sense. Cut such conversation quickly and firmly. Not only will it not benefit anyone, but it can lead to overt conflict.