Controversially

Close parenting - is the world bowing to a child?


Closeness parenting the idea of ​​beautiful, almost fairy-tale, sweet, delightful, Smelling like a freshly bathed baby, smooth as his clean skin, devoid of any creases and imperfections. And for this reason not real. Inflatable to the limit, it bursts like a soap bubble.

Although supporters emphasize that according to its principles, you can raise a child (not even raise, because closeness parenting is "non-upbringing"), the truth is that the older the children and the more experienced the parents, the less often this style is taken seriously . It is compared to a way of care that works for the youngest children. And only them. When a toddler gets older, Close parenthood can't stand the confrontation with reality.

What the laws we can pretend that the world is perfect and try to bend reality to the needs of the child, but unfortunately sooner or later it will reach us that our efforts are doomed to failure. A child who has not been raised by his parents will be brought up by the world. And this lesson probably will survive hard.

Show how much you love a child

Today the rat race is component of each fragment of reality. Auctioning takes place in many areas of life. Also in education. We are told that you can only love well as one or the other "wise head" currently thinks, and if you act differently then for sure you don't have the right knowledge and you hurt a child.

It is fashionable to hug, wear and avoid crying, and any expression of dissatisfaction on the part of the child is perceived as a parent's failure. Because when a child is sobbing, it means that the parent is worse than the ancestor, who was taking care of the newborn in the bush, could not afford the baby to cry, because in this way he would pose a threat to the life of the family.

The child should smile and the parent should always be close. It is supposed to show its acceptance even when it would seem that intuition suggests that you have to be firm and say "no, I don't like it". The parent is to quietly look at the free, socially unacceptable expression of emotions today. As if you have forgotten that you can learn to express emotions in many ways.

Don't show the child to the world

Question for one hundred points? Why do supporters of close parenthood promote a long stay with children at home, do not consider sending the toddler to nursery or kindergarten, and when the child grows up, they emphasize the advantages of home education? The answer is simple. Because their offspring style doesn't work in the outside world.

Unfortunately the world will not change for children. We, as parents, have to raise children so that they find themselves in the world as it is. And even if we really want our children to live like in paradise, we will not change reality. History does not know such cases that it would adapt to the majority in general.

Do not raise What in exchange?

It can be argued that a few-year-old who does not know the punishments, awards, raised voice, to whom he speaks calmly, constantly explaining, it is not forbidden not to limit development, does not decide about the time of weaning, does not plan "moving out" to his own room, he does not limit the time with his parents, he will be able to appreciate this way of care and he will find it perfectly.

One can believe that there is no difference between "raised" and "un-brought up" children. Keep an eye out for the obvious fact that the world prefers "good" children (not to be confused with "frightened" or "scolded") than "naughty". You can.

However, the truth is that hardly any adult will enthusiastically watch attempts to "explain" to a two-year-old who is not allowed to throw all things out of Grandma's drawers. Few people who "are not delighted with the talkative three-year-old" will understand why the child is testing its capabilities, regardless of parents trying to divert attention from dangerous play. In real life there will not be many who praise and favorably look at parents, who caress the head of a toddler falling into hysteria and watch the battle for food in a restaurant without blinking an eye. According to the principle: a child cannot be required more than it is "able". After all, those who have not read "smart books" and do not know that today in "fashion is not upbringing" react intuitively: they are surprised, tired of screaming, and often irritated. When they can leave the room in which the "drama" takes place in order, worse, when they are forced to look at it all and often participate in this performance.

When the second child appears

It is hard to resist the impression that parenting is closeness was created for only children, unemployed, extremely patient, adjusting their whole life to the child, rather, not taking kids to the cinema, theater, church, restaurant, where you have to behave in a certain way. Therefore, parents choosing this style are often offended that the world does not understand their "modern thinking", upset when someone thinks differently.

When a second child appears, parents are usually "smarter", they do not lose themselves in translating, showing, asking, repeating and can look at what they have done so far. They start to listen not to "fashionable experts" but to intuition. And they breathe a sigh of relief. They make their lives easier, reach for the teat when they need it, use a stroller, let the toddler get a little irritated (not to be confused with leaving the baby alone when he cries), when they want, they employ a nanny without remorse, send them to the nursery, take care of their own needs , time for yourself, spine.